So I’ve had mental shifts for a while. Some strong, some not so strong.  Once I moved in with my wolf brothers, things started getting a little more severe.  It was a few months before they really started.  At first it was gradual. I had mental shifts before.  The best way I can put it is that I’m put in the passenger seat. I know what I do, at least from those.  The severe ones sometimes start like that.  I tend to act like a hyper pup.  The differences are gaps in memory.  I’m fortunate enough to have my brothers who can tell me what I do during these times.  Apparently I have a good time playing with our wolf, hybrid dog, biting, running around, jumping on him, things of that nature.  These really haven’t been all that bad except for the fact that I don’t remember everything I’ve done.  Occasionally I’ll get pieces of it back as the day goes on, but I may not always get everything back.  For a while, it scared me.  Not knowing what I did worried me that I would do something bad or wrong.  In the end I realized that regardless if I remembered, I was still me.  I with maybe some minor exceptions, I wouldn’t do anything in that state that I wouldn’t normally do.  I had to trust myself on a strange level than most people.  Guess it’s like trusting your subconscious mind.  I can be vulnerable in that state, but I’m glad I’m in a place where I can trust all those around me.  I guess in the end, I just have to really get to know myself, not be afraid of it and what I’ll discover about myself.

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