I try not to get too personal in this and try to focus on more of the spiritual side of things, but these events tend to push both together.  This past week, I went back to the town I graduated from to visit my parents and see a few friends.  This was the first time I had seen them in almost an entire year.  There had been a lot of problems and tension from my decision to move in with my brothers, but most of it had settled.  I was still unsure of that though because I had only spoken to them on the phone. I didn’t know if they would start back up with anything when I got there in person.  Once I got there, I was still unsure, even though things had been good.  As time passed, I was able to speak with my parents and had some very good talks.  Regardless what I chose to do in my life, the would support me.  That made me feel more at peace with myself greatly.  There had already been some decisions I had made that, due to my upbringing in Catholicism, made me question myself.  In the end, I found peace with myself and those decisions.  I had already told both my parents about being a therian as well, though we never really discussed that.  I think that may have been something my dad hinted about at one point, but just didn’t get into too much detail about it. Regardless, it made me feel at peace finally after all the turmoil we had gone through. 

While I was there, I figured I would finally make another attempt I had tried a little less than a year ago.  I wanted to get a priest’s opinion of all this.  I had tried to speak about it to another priest at one point, but just got a nod, and nothing else.  I was going to mass with my parents, and right before, they had confession. I went to confession and also took this opportunity to talk about being a wolf with the priest after confession.  I was pleasantly surprised at his reaction.  He said that there are many things in this world that we don’t understand.  God made me, so there is nothing “wrong” with me.  There wasn’t a whole lot said other than that. He asked a couple of questions about it, and I answered truthfully.  In the end, his advice was just to be careful with spirits since not all are good.  I nodded and thanked him.  It was something I already knew and have had experience with, but was glad at the positive feedback from him.

Last, but definitely not least was a talk with my best friend.  I’ve known him for about 4 years.  Doesn’t seem too long, but he is definitely someone I trust. Before I moved, I told him everything about me being a wolf.  His reaction was that I had lost touch with reality.  I was hurt by this, and never really spoke to him about it again.  The last night the two of us were hanging out (also with another friend who knew) the topic was brought up again.  He started asking about it saying he didn’t really understand it or why I continued to follow it.  I told him it was part of me and will, and has led me, to something even deeper.  Now a little after I told him about what I was, I told him I felt something from him.  He didn’t say much about it, but just kinda let it be.  He told me that night that he has felt something and if he was a bit more adventurous, he probably would pursue it similar to me.  Instead, he says he still feels it, but it remains dormant.  After that, I brought up him telling me I had lost touch with reality.  He looked surprised and said it didn’t sound like him at all and didn’t remember saying it.  Being my best friend, I took his word.  Once again, I had made peace with something else that bothered me in the back of my mind.  

Upon coming back home, I felt amazing. Best way I can put it is a spiritual high.  I felt energized, motivated, and ready to take on life.  Once I arrived to the house, I also was able to feel a bit more what was going on with our house spiritually.  Living with 3 other wolves who are spiritually aware, and “active” so to speak, we tend to attract many things into our house. It initially took me some time to get used to.  This time I just felt some things that either had been there, or slowly came there without us noticing.  I don’t know what it was exactly, but the spirit was just sapping us of our energy.  It was pretty strong, so I brought out the sage to clear out the house.  It’s a little more calm, though I may break out my holy water for a second cleansing of the house.  I guess the big thing I learned from this is that peace is very fulfilling and will benefit me greatly.  I need to continue to find peace in my life with whatever it is I do.

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