As life has shifted back to more of a focus on college, things are getting tough.  I still room with BB, we share a dorm.  We also have two other roommates who we share a bathroom, sinks, and shower with.  They are cool people for the most part.  Though it has been kind of rough for me because every night, BB has had a lot of energy, starts getting some strong m-shifts, sometimes to the point of falling over.  So far the other two guys have no idea what we are (though one decided to call me Jacob after seeing BB’s wolf posters -_- ) but BB doesn’t remember any nights when he gets his m shifts.  this so far has been an entire 2 weeks in a row.  I’m getting kind of worried because of it.  I really don’t know what to do.  He sometimes mutters things almost like he’s having a debate with someone.  I never can really hear what he is saying when it happens. He ends up fine in the morning, but sometimes I end up not getting enough sleep because of this.  I have early classes most of the week, so this sometimes ends up being difficult.  I still end up getting my work done so far.  I still wonder why the energy here is so strong for him.  The building is brand new, so there really shouldn’t be any kind of lingering presence, or energies here. At least I wouldn’t think so.  I know that after staying in this room over time, our own energies stay in the room.  

I also keep trying to delve deeper into spirituality, which so far I’ve been able to do either by deciding last minute, or by being thrown in there when BB has his strong m-shifts.  I’m proud to say I have been improving on my energy work, even though I’m still not too experienced with it.  I guess just delving into it and experimenting (with some caution of course) does help.  Mainly I’ve been working with shields, moving/transferring energy, and storing energy in stones/crystals, or with help from stones/crystals.  The two stones I’ve mainly used are my amethyst, and my stone I have from my trip to Cambodia.  Probably the time I had the most success was when I decided to go to a party (which happened to be the night of the blue moon) and tried storing the energy, and experimented with different shields.  I stored a good amount of energy, but unfortunately when BB had a strong m-shift, he ended up taking both stones and now they don’t feel quite the same.  I don’t blame him though, I know he usually doesn’t have much control if any when he has strong m shifts. I guess I will just have to be more careful.

I really feel these days like I’m living two completely different lives.  Trying to keep doing good in college, taking care of bills, finding a job, while having to deal with all the spiritual things.  It really is draining for me.  It’s like I constantly have to shift modes and adapt to whatever I’m faced with.  It’s not too bad, because it has helped me to become more adaptive in many ways, but it is tiring.  I hope I will get more accustomed to it and be able to not feel so drained by all of this.  Either that, or have some kind of break to rejuvenate me halfway through.  Perseverance seems to be a theme these days.  Just have to keep balancing everything the best I can.

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