So for the past two weeks now, I’ve been seeing some odd things.  Well, more like seeing the same thing.  I’ll be sitting in my room or going somewhere, and I’ll see either in front of me, or out of the corner of my eye something crawling along the wall, a spider. I go to take a closer look, and it’s gone.  Most of the time I just catch a shadow of it running along the wall and am not sure if it really was there. On occasion I’ll see a real spider and know it was there.   Oh, did I mention I’m terrified of spiders?  If I find a spider crawling on my or extremely close to me, I will freak out, jump up, and start running.  Now despite this fear, I’ve taken the massive amount of spider sightings (real or not real) as a sign to start looking into things.  So I’ve started researching the various symbolism behind spiders.  I’m familiar with various other symbols, but the spider, I initially had absolutely no knowledge on.

The spider has many interpretations of it’s symbolism.  The spider is known to be wise and a teacher,  A feminine spirit.  Sometimes even symbolizing the dark side of the Goddess.  She is cunning, and is sometimes known for her illusions.  She is also a hunter, predator, and a weaver.  She helps in holding on to good positive dreams and filtering out the bad ones.  The dream catcher is her specific tool/symbol for this according to sioux legends.   Here are some self-reflective questions I found about the spider. source:

Questions to ponder when spider appears:

  • Are you weaving your dreams into reality?
  • Are you moving toward a central goal or are you scattered and going in multiple directions?
  • Are you becoming too involved and or self-absorbed?
  • Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments and not on your own?
  • Do you need to write or draw and are not following through?
  • Are you developing resentment because of it – for yourself or for them?

I won’t necessarily go into every one of these, but I do feel that I may be trying to go in too many directions.  I’ve spoken about this before, but balancing school and trying to keep a healthy spiritual life is rough.  I feel like either I don’t have enough time, or when I start to find things, I’m led to a dead end, or am told to wait for one reason or another.  I guess further self reflection would be good.  Maybe finish off my semester focusing more on physical life, and get back to spirituality more when school is taken care of.  I should still try to keep up meditation and regular practices/excercises, but I probably shouldn’t look too much further.  Or maybe even make this the focus of my meditations.