So despite naming this post after one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who, this post does have to do with demons.

I learned some rather unfortunate news about some of my family’s past that explained some occurrences as a child.  When I was little, I had night terrors.  Terrifying dreams that varied from running from various killers, horrifying images, and the worst heavy, dark, feeling.  That dark feeling has followed me in my dreams even to this day, sometimes in the form of a person or thing, other times just the familiar dark feeling.  Occasionally it’s accompanied by the feeling that the dream is working against me, where it becomes difficult for me to move, think, or focus .  I’ve fought with it on many occasions.  Sometimes I win, other times, I hold it off.  It’s never a pleasant experience regardless of what happens.  The dreams were much more severe when I was younger.  It wasn’t until I war around 10 or 11 that the dreams finally calmed down.

So I went off on that tangent with a purpose.  I learned from my mother over the christmas holiday that my grandfather on my dad’s side had made some kind of deal with the devil, promising his children (my dad and his 6 sisters).  I spoke with my sister about it, and both of us had similar problem with dreams and our own “demons” so to speak.  It made sense to both of us about our family’s history and because of that, we have had to deal with more “baggage” than most.  The nice thing about knowing now is that I can piece together everything, understand it, and work through it with a better understanding.  Regardless of my family’s past, it doesn’t mean that I’m helpless or doomed to follow the same example.  “Demons run when a good man goes to war”  I hope I am a good man, because I want to send those demons running, and continue to grow in my life despite what has been done by my family.

Advertisements