So I speak about many different things I’ve experienced, but rarely touch on my actual connection with the wolf.  I figured I’d try to remedy that, although I admit it may be a little difficult for me to describe it.

So I mentioned in a previous post about it seeming like a dual nature.  It truly has been feeling like that. I describe myself as 100% human and 100% wolf.   It does feel like it gets crowded.  All jokes aside, it has been feeling overwhelming lately.  I’ve been growling at random times, having more of a wolf reaction to situations.  It really has been feeling like sharing one body with two beings.  Both are the same, yet have certain needs that need to be addressed.  On the human side, its the usual: roof over my head, a job (which I’ve been trying to look for over a month now) and some form of social interaction.  On the wolf side, it gets a little more different.  The social interaction surprisingly helps, as well as having my own little space.  I sometimes find myself getting territorial over certain things, my space, certain possessions, and even food.  There needs to be some kind of release of energy as well.  Lately since I’ve been unemployed I’ve been using exercise as an one method.  Hikes and running are some good ways. Being out in nature is always a plus.  Usually hikes can do the same.  Certain foods such as a rare steak, buffalo, beef, or elk usually do the job.  Sometimes when I haven’t really tended the need of both properly, the imbalance can sometimes cause issues that sometimes feels like I’m fighting with myself.  Two spirits, one being trying to be one.

I admit even after everything I’ve seen and experienced, I still question my sanity.  Especially now with trying to balance thing out again.  I am one being, but does feel like two sometimes.  I know deep down I just have to get my bearings again.  Growing up involves adapting to the changes as a human and as a wolf.  Unfortunately there’s no road map or manual to this kind of thing.  Other people’s experience does help give ideas, but when it comes down to it each person’s experiences are different.  It comes down to one a trial and error method and learning more about myself.

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