It has been a while since I posted. So I’m going to have a digital potluck.  I get to bring all that I can to the table and share.

For a little while I took a step back from wolf stuff.  I felt myself getting frustrated trying to find explanations for the many shifting occurrences, physical and mental.  I still had my fair share of mental shifts during this time (they rarely seem to stop for longer periods of time) but I simply moved past the occasional flares; it’s nothing I can’t handle.  Though I feel the break was good, I still feel no better or worse in figuring much out.  On that note, I have contemplated an old idea that I realized still may have some relevance to all of this.  Back in my younger days, still trying to figure things out, I was experimenting with mental shifting.  During this time I attempted to change the way I thought.  Naturally I think in words, an everlasting (sometimes hellish) interior monologue.  I was attempting to change my thought process to start thinking in experiences rather than words.  So I would be thinking in pictures, smells, feelings, ect.  Needless to say, I wasn’t entirely successful.  Naturally, certain smells reminded me of certain memories, but there wasn’t any change in my state of mind in that way.  Recently BB and I had a conversation about some of the experiences he had, and the topic came up about how he thought.  He said his thought process includes pictures, different from how I think, but also what I had attempted to change my thought process to.  Now while I may not be completely right in this, I think there may be a connection with that.  I’m sure wolves (possibly most animals) would have a similar “thought process”.  I think because of this, BB does have an easier time with certain aspects of shifting and may be a reason why I have so much difficulty with it myself.

While I’m on the subject of mentality, I have been able to learn a lot about myself and how my mind does work.  Essentially, I’m an analyst, my specialty people and human interaction.  While I’m not always right, I can usually tell you a lot about a person just from spending some time with a person.  This tends to make me socially awkward at times.  I’m definitely an introvert that does enjoy extrovert activities.  I could continue going on listing things about myself that I know, but I think the most important/interesting thing is my subconscious.   While I’ve met a lot of people who understand that aspect of themselves, that part of me is a big question mark.  I’ve caught glimpses of it, and I admit some of what I have seen does scare me.  There are some rather dark impulses down that line, but it does make me wonder what I could learn about myself if I was able to explore my subconscious.

So while I haven’t exactly focused on shifting and things of that nature lately, but of course it’s still always a part of me.

Advertisements