Category: Rantings

The Teacher

As most of you who have spoken to me know,  one thing I would absolutely love to find is a teacher or mentor.  While this has been an ongoing search for me, I’ve been given an answer that I’m not particularly pleased with but I know it’s my reality and the path I will have to take.  My teacher is experience.  I say this because some of the things I have been able to witness have been incredible.  Amazing people, amazing things that are thought to be legends, stories, and fairy tales.  Things that most people would consider impossible and science cannot explain.  I have a habit of adapting to new situations.  This “trial by fire” so to speak is how I have learned everything up to this point.  I develop questions based off of these happenings and search for my answers because of it.  I learn from the experiences of other, sharing stories.  I was pushed to ask more questions.  There’s the whole saying about asking the right questions.  I feel my experiences have led me to ask these questions.  My teacher, experience, continues to push me.  Yes, it’s frustrating many times.  I often feel overwhelmed, lost, and confused.  This I realize is just part of my path.  No, it’s not easy.  Anything worth pursuing never is.  I chose this path long ago.  I guess I can still run if I wanted, but I refuse to.  I’ve come so far already and I want to see this through to the end.  I know I will most likely still complain about not having a mentor or a direct teacher.  I can at the very least be content with knowing I will learn.


****           Warning, Rant ahead.  Very opinionated post coming up.  If easily offended by opposing opinions then you may want to skip             ****


So there seems to be a rather new way of thinking.   Sure, ignorant people may say some…..well, ignorant things.  What would you say if I told you all of us were ignorant at some point in our lives?   Shocking! I know!  In my recent experience with dealing with people, I’ve found that ignorance is not only frowned upon but I’ve seen people bullied because of it.  Not a very kind thing to do by “educated” or “enlightened” people is it?  Now these ignorant people may claim ridiculous things but instead of bashing them and further adding to an ongoing issue, why not use it as a teaching moment?  Many people talk about how they have a problem with ignorance. Why not become part of the solution instead of encouraging the problem?  From what I’ve seen so far, a lot of it is because of egos.  Some people feel they have all the answers with shifting, energy and the supernatural.   I even met an arrogant person claiming that she knew everything.  As the old saying goes, soon as you think you know everything, you know nothing.  Our own egos have gotten in the way of helping and educating.   This world has plenty of things we don’t understand, suffering, and pain.  It’s up to us to make things better little by little, lessen the burdens of our friends, teach the ignorant, spread happiness when we can.  Most of all, we need to learn understanding.  Our path is not the same as another.   We cannot always understand, but maybe someday we all will seek to understand and that might be just enough.


Growing up I had a very tough time making mistakes.  Every mistake I made was blown up out of proportion and beaten into my head that it was such a horrible thing I did.  I didn’t realize this until over a year after I moved out of my parent’s house the damage it caused.  By the time I was out and on my own, I wanted to do everything perfect.  I was terrified of making mistakes.   Any kind of mistake I made, no matter how minor it was had a tendency to replay in my mind over and over, not letting my mind rest.  It didn’t kick in until after I moved in with the other guys that I began the slow process of realizing that mistakes were ok.  Mistakes aren’t always fun, but I learned mistakes = experience.  Mistakes are one way we learn.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Mistakes generally mean you did something new or went outside your comfort zone.  Of course there are some mistakes anyone would rather not have to deal with, but looking at mistakes constantly negatively hasn’t done me any good.  Mistakes happen.  I’m not always immediately happy to make a mistake, but now I can at least improve on my perspective and how I deal with my own mistakes.  I’m not completely afraid to make mistakes now.  I just look forward to continue to improve and experience the world.

So out of the blue, I thought this would be a good idea for multiple reasons.  One, my mother brought me up with counting my blessings. Although I admit I didn’t really do this often, I like it and think it’s something I should do a little more often, so here it goes.  First thing I am very happy for is the overabundance of pizza that has been bought/given to me and my roommates.  Within 2 days, the house has been filled up with 6 boxes of pizza.  I’m very grateful for the massive overhaul of food given by good friends and roommates.  Next I’m happy to finally be employed again.  I enjoyed my down time, but I’m not too great at staying at home most of the day. It’s nice to be doing something, as well as I’m not required to be social at my job either. Just enjoy cleaning a few classrooms while listening to music.  Another great blessing has been somehow being able to keep my current apartment during my time of unemployment. It’s been tough sometimes, but I’ve made it. I adapted and survived!  Of course, my little corner of the earth (my room) is always a great blessing. My space where I can just take a load off.  A big two are my best friends BB, and Steve.  Without all of our random adventures, shenanigans, and most of all the carefree, laid back atmosphere we have created, I will say our common interests have truly created the power of friendship (Excuse the sap).  In addition with them, comes the massive geek/nerd, video game collection.  The younger version of me would just stand in awe of everything like a kid in a candy store.  My family is a constant blessing, especially my sister who has always been an inspiration for me.  I also feel blessed that BB has helped keep me motivated to stay healthy.  The confidence is great, I feel comfortable with myself, and I keep my Diabetes in control.


So there’s my short reflection on my current blessings. I could essentially go on and on, but I’m sure reading this would get a little dull at some point.

Quick disclaimer here, This is just a rant. I’m not here to offend anyone.  These are my opinions, and my way of expressing thing.

So while lurking on the various groups and forums of the therian community, I often come across people who feel they have somehow earned some sort of title which entitles them to automatic respect.  I always do my best to give respect unless they have done something to lose that respect.  These people then start to talk down to people just because they are an “Alpha”, claiming to belong to various native tribes , or my personal favorite an “old spirit” who always knows much more than I and deserves to be treated with the utmost respect.  Arrogance is one thing I cannot stand, especially when that person is putting down others just because of a self-given title.  If they truly do have those titles, they should live up to that name.  I know nobody is perfect, but before putting yourself on a pedestal try not being an ass?  We are all just trying to figure out our own path.  There no need for putting people down.